Her throat was so tight, she felt like she couldn’t breathe.  Arilyn squeezed her eyes shut against the tears welling up, hands clutching at her pillowcase, balling into fists.  I can’t just let it happen.  I can’t just let it happen.  But I have to, don’t I?  Don’t I?  But I can’t just let him…
            She choked on a sob, shaking her head hard.  “What if it’s not real?  What if it’s not real and I stop him from doing something good?”  She grabbed her pillow, held it against her face, screamed into it—screamed for so long that she was out of breath when the lights came on in her room.
            “Ari?”
            No, no, no, no, no!  No, Daddy, please, please don’t ask me what’s wrong.  Please don’t ask me.
            The door closed behind him and he padded across the floor, took the pillow from her hands.  His brow creased in a frown, light from the overhead catching in the silver lacing his dark hair.  “What’s wrong, Ari?”  He crouched down in front of her, wiping tears from her face with his thumb.  “You’ve been crying.” 
            She tried to shake her head, to deny that there was anything wrong.  But she couldn’t.  There had been too many lies in their family already for her to utter another one.  “Please don’t go back, Daddy.”  She grasped at his arm, hugging it as more tears rolled down her cheeks.  “Please, just don’t.”
            Mike blinked at her, expression openly confused for a moment or three, then melted into one that was almost nostalgic.  “You haven’t asked me not to leave since you were seven.”
            I shouldn’t have stopped—none of us should have stopped—but it’s too late for that now.  “Daddy…you have to stay here.  Please?”
            He looked pained, looking away from his oldest daughter.  Her brow furrowed, tears momentarily easing.  She edged forward toward the edge of her bed, watching her father as he took a deep breath, gathering himself.
            What’s…?  What’s wrong?  “Daddy?”
            “I can’t not go back, Ari,” he said quietly.  “There’s some things that I need to handle in person.”

            “He’ll be taken care of just like any of my husband’s children,” Indy said firmly, staring at the other woman.  “He’ll be provided for.  I’ll see to that, I assure you.  But understand this: what is freely given is for him, not for you.  That boy is my husband’s child, but I was his wife.  I was his wife.  Your betrayal isn’t something I can forgive.  If I find out that any decicred of what’s given for your son is used by you…well.  Let’s just say that you won’t be as involved in that boy’s life as you’d like to be.”

            “Oh, Daddy,” she sighed, shaking her head slowly.  “Who is it?”
            “Doesn’t matter,” he murmured.  “It was over the moment I set foot back on Xenen.  She just doesn’t know it yet.”  He looked up at his daughter and smiled weakly.  “Probably doesn’t help.”
            Arilyn shook her head a little.  No, it doesn’t.  I still can’t let you go back to the NR Sixth.  I just can’t.  I can’t let you…  “You shouldn’t, Daddy.  She can come here.  They can ship your things from the fleet.  Mom’s getting you that transfer.  You don’t have to go back there ever again.”  Her fingers tightened on his arm.  “Please, Daddy.  Stay here?  Don’t go back there.  Something awful’s going to happen if you go back there.”  I can’t let you go.  I can’t, Daddy.  I’ll never be able to forgive myself if you die and there was something I could do to stop it.
            He blinked for a moment, brow furrowing deeper as the pieces started to fall into place.  “You’re…you’re seeing things?”
            She sniffled, nodding.  “Like Mom used to.  A long time ago.”  I almost wish I could turn it off.  But it doesn’t work that way, does it?  The Force picks, not me.  And right now I keep seeing things and I can’t stop seeing things and I just want to stop…
            Her father stood from his crouch and sat down next to her on the edge of her bed, gathering her against his chest like he had when she was little and had nightmares, like he did on the rare occasions when he was home, not off somewhere, doing something, whether it was duty sending him away or something else.  She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against him, squeezing her eyes shut and listening to him breathe for a few long moments, slowly beginning to calm down.
            “What did you see, Ari?” he asked after a long while, after her tears had dried on her face and she could breathe again without wheezing.
            She shook her head slowly.  “A battlefield, somewhere, but not like other battlefields.  This one…it moved.  Drifted, almost.  Lazy-like.  But one of those…those things.  The Vong?  I think that’s what I’ve heard…I saw one stab you through.  It killed you.  There was all this blood…and I watched the light go out of your eyes.”  She drew a shaky breath, burying her face in his shoulder.  “Please don’t go back, Daddy.  I know it happens because you go back to the Sixth and they send you someplace.  I just know it.  I can tell.”
            He sat in shocked silence for a few long moments, then tightened his arms around her, expression grim.  It was another long few moments before he found his voice enough to speak.  “I…I won’t go to ground, Ari.”
            She swallowed hard, letting him crush her into his chest, eyes squeezed shut.  She could hear his heart thundering and knew he was as afraid as she was.  Why can’t I keep him from leaving?  “Daddy…please stay.”
            “I’ll…I’ll see what I can do, okay?”
            She wasn’t sure what that meant, but for the moment, it was all the comfort she was going to get.  She nodded slowly and relaxed against his chest.  “You won’t leave your ship, if you have to go back?  If they won’t let you stay?”
            He nodded slightly.  “I promise, Ari.  I promise.”
            “Good,” she murmured, relaxing a little.  Some of the fear ebbed, drained away.  Weariness replaced it and she exhaled, sighing a little.
            Her father stroked her hair, and held her until she fell asleep again.

~ Erin