\u201cWell, Dad, the Sixth didn\u2019t fall apart while you were gone,\u201d Mikey said to his father as their shuttle glided toward the ISD-II Justicar<\/i>, the seat of Michael Bullian, Sr.\u2019s command.\u00a0 The pilot frowned when his father didn\u2019t answer, glancing sidelong at the other man, who hunched over an oversized datapad with a stylus, muttering under his breath.\u00a0 \u201cDad?\u201d<\/p>\n
His father glanced up, blinking as if startled.\u00a0 \u201cWere you saying something, Mikey?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNever mind.\u00a0 What\u2019re you wrapped up in?\u00a0 Someone frak something up while we were gone and I didn\u2019t hear about it?\u201d<\/p>\n
One corner of his father\u2019s mouth twitched toward a smile and he shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cNo, nothing like that.\u00a0 Just a design I\u2019ve been tinkering with since we left home.\u201d<\/p>\n
He just called Xenen <\/i>home.\u00a0 He hasn\u2019t done that…he hasn\u2019t done that since I was maybe ten or eleven years old.<\/i>\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to break it off with her,\u201d he said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cWith Amma.\u201d\u00a0 I know that he said he was going to do it, but I guess I didn\u2019t really believe that it was actually going to happen.<\/i><\/p>\n
His father nodded, straightening in his seat.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve asked for a reassignment back to the Kartuiin Sector,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cTransmitted it before our transport hit hyperspace.\u00a0 I imagine that my new orders will be waiting for me when I get to quarters on the Justicar<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mikey shook his head slowly, just staring at his father.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t believe that you\u2019re actually going through with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The brow over his father\u2019s artificial eye lifted.\u00a0 \u201cWhy\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just…it\u2019s never seemed like you wanted that before, Dad.\u00a0 You went home to ask Mom for a divorce and now you\u2019re…it\u2019s not that I\u2019m not happy, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you\u2019re wondering what the source of the sudden change is all about.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mikey closed his mouth and nodded.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t sense any anger in his father, which was either a very good or a very, very bad thing.\u00a0 The pilot watched his father\u2019s eyes\u2014both artificial and organic\u2014and felt guilt begin to coil in his belly.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not like I wanted him to break things off with Mom.\u00a0 I tried to talk him out of doing it, didn\u2019t I?\u00a0 It\u2019s just that I didn\u2019t expect this.\u00a0 I figured it\u2019d somehow go back to business as usual as soon as we were back here.\u00a0 I guess I was wrong this time.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve loved your mother since the first moment I laid eyes on her,\u201d Michael Bullian, Sr. said softly, looking away from his son and staring at something very long ago and far away.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve said it before, but I\u2019ve always forgotten what that actually felt like.\u00a0 Every time I left, the loneliness would come and it would crush me, but I couldn\u2019t stay because staying would mean giving up my dreams.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo you slept with half the eligible women in the fleet because you were lonely out here?\u201d\u00a0 For all his own escapades, he\u2019d never quite crossed the line his father danced over every single day.\u00a0 He was careful where his father wasn\u2019t, unattached in a way his father pretended he wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I may break a few hearts, but I don\u2019t break apart families.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d Mike said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m a bastard, son.\u00a0 I always have been.\u00a0 Your mother…she\u2019s always made me better than I am.\u201d\u00a0 He looked down at the datapad in his lap, at the sketches and calculations.\u00a0 \u201cShe always knew.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cKnew what?\u201d\u00a0 Mikey\u2019s stomach bucked.\u00a0 Mom knew what he was doing?\u00a0 She\u2019s known for all this time and she never…she never said anything?\u00a0 Never did anything about it?<\/i>\u00a0 \u201cDad…she knew you were cheating on her?\u201d<\/p>\n
His father\u2019s eyes slid closed and the older man nodded slightly.\u00a0 \u201cShe knew.\u00a0 As she put it, the service is lonely and I could never stand to be alone.\u00a0 She knew that about me from the beginning.\u00a0 It was easier when we were both with the Aurora Force, but then I left.\u00a0 That\u2019s when it started.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe never…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf it were you, would you want your kids to know?\u201d\u00a0 Mike exhaled a quiet sigh and shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s a strong woman, your mother, and I don\u2019t deserve her.\u00a0 I love her, but I don\u2019t deserve her.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled, almost wistfully.\u00a0 \u201cBut she\u2019s stuck by me anyway, regardless of how much I\u2019ve screwed everything up.\u00a0 Now it\u2019s time for me to make up for all of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd if they deny your request for reassignment?\u201d\u00a0 Mikey asked quietly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat happens then, Dad?\u201d<\/p>\n
He considered the question for a long moment, staring at nothing, before his blank expression melted into a smile and a shrug.\u00a0 \u201cThen I resign and go home anyway.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure that I can talk Dalsuna into giving up that teaching post on Conceli VIII and starting a shipworks with me.\u00a0 It\u2019ll just take some persuasion.\u201d<\/p>\n
All Mikey could do was stare at his father in confusion and awe.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve got it all figured out.\u201d<\/p>\n
His father looked at him, something softening in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s time I made up for all the mistakes I\u2019ve made, Mikey.\u00a0 With your mother, with you kids, with everyone back there that I walked away from.\u00a0 They stood by me when I was on the very edge, about to go over, and they pulled me back from the brink in a way that no one else ever has or ever could.\u00a0 I have a debt to pay to the Aurora Force and it\u2019s time I paid it.\u201d\u00a0 He looked down at the datapad again.\u00a0 \u201cAnd it starts with this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it, anyway?\u00a0 Looks like some kind of hybrid of an X-wing and an A-wing and a TIE Interceptor that might actually work<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSomething your brother came up with before I left to take command of the Justicar<\/i>,\u201d Mike said.\u00a0 \u201cThe model\u2019s in my bag.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been able to get this out of my head since we left Xenen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo that\u2019s what you\u2019ve been working on this whole time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mike nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 He paused before he looked at his son, voice hitching as he spoke.\u00a0 \u201cMikey, if something happens to me, I need you to make sure that all of my plans, all of my engineering and design files, all of those make it to your brother.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mikey felt a pang of jealousy but fought it down.\u00a0 Davil might never forgive their father for everything he\u2019d done, but those files would be Michael Bullian\u2019s attempt to bridge the gulf that had opened between a father and his eldest son.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, nothing\u2019s going to happen to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI told your sister the same thing, but you know Ari.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t want us to come back here.\u201d\u00a0 Mike took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll need to be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m always careful,\u201d his son said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cWas the warning for both of us, or just for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
His father winced.<\/p>\n
Just for him, then.<\/i>\u00a0 Mikey\u2019s lips thinned.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019ll have to be careful,\u201d he said, echoing his father\u2019s word.\u00a0 \u201cIf only to prove Ari wrong and give her a little more hope.\u201d<\/p>\n
The voice of the shuttle\u2019s pilot crackled over the intercom, filling the shuttle\u2019s passenger compartment.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re on final approach, gentlemen.\u00a0 Docking in three minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mike glanced at his son and smiled faintly, packing up the datapad.\u00a0 \u201cWell.\u00a0 Back to business.\u201d<\/p>\n
His son just nodded slightly.\u00a0 \u201cYeah,\u201d he said, voice quiet.\u00a0 \u201cBack to business.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u2022<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ithor.<\/i>\u00a0 Mike tossed the datapad onto the desk in his quarters, starting to pace.\u00a0 He had to bring the Sixth Fleet to Ithor with all due haste.\u00a0 There was no indication that his request had even been reviewed.<\/p>\n
It doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just get the fleet to Ithor and then I\u2019ll deal with everything I need to deal with after that.<\/i>\u00a0 It was a small delay, but nothing he couldn\u2019t handle.<\/p>\n
He\u2019d shot off a quick transmission back to Xenen for Indy, letting her know that he and their son had made it back safely.\u00a0 She\u2019d call if she could\u2014he knew that.<\/p>\n
We both have fleets to run.<\/i><\/p>\n
His door chimed a second before the hatch slid open.\u00a0 He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the scent of her perfume hit him.\u00a0 As confident as he\u2019d tried to sound when talking to his son about it, telling Amma it was over wasn\u2019t going to be easy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen did you come aboard?\u201d he asked as the hatch closed behind her.<\/p>\n
\u201cHalf an hour ago,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cI had to finish something off before I could steal away.\u00a0 The fleet\u2019s restless and you cancelled everyone\u2019s leave as soon as you got back.\u00a0 I knew I had to come quick.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n
For a moment, he considered not telling her\u2014disappearing might be the better option.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ve been a jerk to everyone in your life already.\u00a0 She deserves to know the truth.\u00a0 The mistakes stop here.<\/i><\/p>\n
Amma\u2019s arms slid around his waist, one of her hands trailing dangerously low.\u00a0 He swallowed hard and stepped away, turning to face her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need to talk,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n
She arched a brow at him, lips pursing slightly.\u00a0 She was beautiful\u2014had the look of her mother, a friend of both he and Indy back in the old days\u2014and seemed impossibly young.\u00a0 She was<\/i> young, too young for him.<\/p>\n
What the hell was I thinking?<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do we need to talk about?\u201d she asked softly.\u00a0 \u201cHow long will you be gone this time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I leave this time, I\u2019m not coming back,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
There.\u00a0 I said it.<\/i><\/p>\n
Now her brows knit, fair brows over blue eyes, her expression caught somewhere between confusion and a pout.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u00a0 Some kind of crazy Jedi vision thing?\u00a0 Has the Force told you something?\u201d\u00a0 Horror bloomed in her eyes and she caught his face between her hands.\u00a0 \u201cAre you going to die<\/i> out there?\u00a0 Oh, Mike, you can\u2019t die.\u00a0 You just can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I meant,\u201d he said as he gently disengaged her fingers from his cheeks.\u00a0 He held her hands for a moment, then released them.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t ask Indy for a divorce, Amma.\u00a0 After this mission, I intend to go home for good.\u00a0 My place is in Kartuiin with my family, not out here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot with me,\u201d she whispered.\u00a0 She fell back a step.\u00a0 \u201cYou said you loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d she echoed.\u00a0 Her expression grew hard as she backed toward the door.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure you are.\u00a0 Look…when you realize what a mistake you\u2019ve made, you know where to find me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 She stopped, then lunged toward him, capturing his lips in a kiss that set his blood aflame.<\/p>\n
He pushed her away, swallowing hard.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not making a mistake,\u201d he said, forcing his voice to be steady.\u00a0 He would miss her, but this was right<\/i>.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve made so many wrong choices and not realized it, but this time I know I\u2019m doing the right thing.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u201cGood-bye, Amma,\u201d he said quietly, then walked past her to the door.\u00a0 He cycled the hatch open and waited, watching her.<\/p>\n
She stared at him for a long moment, then walked to the open hatch.\u00a0 \u201cUntil next time, Mike.\u00a0 Until next time.\u201d<\/p>\n
She stepped out and he closed the hatch behind her, an ache growing inside.\u00a0 His stomach roiled.<\/p>\n
Then his comm chimed, the emblem of the Aurora Force appearing on the screen.<\/p>\n
Mike Bullian smiled and nodded slightly to himself.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve made the right choice.<\/i><\/p>\n
~ Erin<\/p>\n