{"id":101,"date":"2009-03-29T09:39:56","date_gmt":"2009-03-29T13:39:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.auroraforce.org\/blog\/?p=101"},"modified":"2009-03-29T09:39:56","modified_gmt":"2009-03-29T13:39:56","slug":"vong-war-annals-futilities-3292009","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.auroraforce.org\/blog\/?p=101","title":{"rendered":"Vong War Annals – “Futilities” 3.29.2009"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Her throat was so tight, she felt like she couldn\u2019t breathe.\u00a0 Arilyn squeezed her eyes shut against the tears welling up, hands clutching at her pillowcase, balling into fists.\u00a0 I can\u2019t just let it happen.\u00a0 I can\u2019t just let it happen.\u00a0 But I have to, don\u2019t I?\u00a0 Don\u2019t I?\u00a0 But I can\u2019t just let him\u2026
\n<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She choked on a sob, shaking her head hard.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if it\u2019s not real?\u00a0 What if it\u2019s not real and I stop him from doing something good<\/em>?\u201d\u00a0 She grabbed her pillow, held it against her face, screamed into it\u2014screamed for so long that she was out of breath when the lights came on in her room.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAri?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 No, no, no, no, no!\u00a0 No, Daddy, please, please don\u2019t ask me what\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t ask me.
\n<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The door closed behind him and he padded across the floor, took the pillow from her hands.\u00a0 His brow creased in a frown, light from the overhead catching in the silver lacing his dark hair.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, Ari?\u201d\u00a0 He crouched down in front of her, wiping tears from her face with his thumb.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019ve been crying.\u201d\u00a0
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She tried to shake her head, to deny that there was anything wrong.\u00a0 But she couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 There had been too many lies in their family already for her to utter another one.\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t go back, Daddy.\u201d\u00a0 She grasped at his arm, hugging it as more tears rolled down her cheeks.\u00a0 \u201cPlease, just don\u2019t.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Mike blinked at her, expression openly confused for a moment or three, then melted into one that was almost nostalgic.\u00a0 \u201cYou haven\u2019t asked me not to leave since you were seven.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t have stopped\u2014none of us should have stopped\u2014but it\u2019s too late for that now.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cDaddy\u2026you have to stay here.\u00a0 Please?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He looked pained, looking away from his oldest daughter.\u00a0 Her brow furrowed, tears momentarily easing.\u00a0 She edged forward toward the edge of her bed, watching her father as he took a deep breath, gathering himself.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What\u2019s\u2026?\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong?<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cDaddy?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t not go back, Ari,\u201d he said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s some things that I need to handle in person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll be taken care of just like any of my husband\u2019s children,\u201d Indy said firmly, staring at the other woman.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019ll be provided for.\u00a0 I\u2019ll see to <\/em>that, I assure you.\u00a0 But understand this: what is freely given is for <\/em>him, not for <\/em>you.\u00a0 That boy is my husband\u2019s child, but I was his wife.\u00a0 <\/em>I was his <\/em>wife.\u00a0 Your betrayal isn\u2019t something I can forgive.\u00a0 If I find out that any decicred of what\u2019s given for your son is used by <\/em>you\u2026well.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just say that you won\u2019t be as involved in that boy\u2019s life as you\u2019d like to be.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, Daddy,\u201d she sighed, shaking her head slowly.\u00a0 \u201cWho is it?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDoesn\u2019t matter,\u201d he murmured.\u00a0 \u201cIt was over the moment I set foot back on Xenen.\u00a0 She just doesn\u2019t know it yet.\u201d\u00a0 He looked up at his daughter and smiled weakly.\u00a0 \u201cProbably doesn\u2019t help.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Arilyn shook her head a little.\u00a0 No, it doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 I still can\u2019t let you go back to the NR Sixth.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t.\u00a0 I can\u2019t let you\u2026<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t, Daddy.\u00a0 She can come here.\u00a0 They can ship your things from the fleet.\u00a0 Mom\u2019s getting you that transfer.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to go back there ever again.\u201d\u00a0 Her fingers tightened on his arm.\u00a0 \u201cPlease, Daddy.\u00a0 Stay here?\u00a0 Don\u2019t go back there.\u00a0 Something awful\u2019s going to happen if you go back there.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t let you go.\u00a0 I can\u2019t, Daddy.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never be able to forgive myself if you die and there was something I could do to stop it.
\n<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He blinked for a moment, brow furrowing deeper as the pieces started to fall into place.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re\u2026you\u2019re seeing things?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She sniffled, nodding.\u00a0 \u201cLike Mom used to.\u00a0 A long time ago.\u201d\u00a0 I almost wish I could turn it off.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t work that way, does it?\u00a0 The Force picks, not me.\u00a0 And right now I keep seeing things and I can\u2019t stop seeing things and I just want to stop\u2026
\n<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Her father stood from his crouch and sat down next to her on the edge of her bed, gathering her against his chest like he had when she was little and had nightmares, like he did on the rare occasions when he was home, not off somewhere, doing something, whether it was duty sending him away or something else.\u00a0 She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against him, squeezing her eyes shut and listening to him breathe for a few long moments, slowly beginning to calm down.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat did you see, Ari?\u201d he asked after a long while, after her tears had dried on her face and she could breathe again without wheezing.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She shook her head slowly.\u00a0 \u201cA battlefield, somewhere, but not like other battlefields.\u00a0 This one\u2026it moved.\u00a0 Drifted, almost.\u00a0 Lazy-like.\u00a0 But one of those\u2026those things.\u00a0 The Vong?\u00a0 I think that\u2019s what I\u2019ve heard\u2026I saw one stab you through.\u00a0 It killed you.\u00a0 There was all this blood\u2026and I watched the light go out of your eyes.\u201d\u00a0 She drew a shaky breath, burying her face in his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cPlease don\u2019t go back, Daddy.\u00a0 I know it happens because you go back to the Sixth and they send you someplace.\u00a0 I just know it.\u00a0 I can tell.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He sat in shocked silence for a few long moments, then tightened his arms around her, expression grim.\u00a0 It was another long few moments before he found his voice enough to speak.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2026I won\u2019t go to ground, Ari.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She swallowed hard, letting him crush her into his chest, eyes squeezed shut.\u00a0 She could hear his heart thundering and knew he was as afraid as she was.\u00a0 Why can\u2019t I keep him from leaving?<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cDaddy\u2026please stay.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll\u2026I\u2019ll see what I can do, okay?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t sure what that meant, but for the moment, it was all the comfort she was going to get.\u00a0 She nodded slowly and relaxed against his chest.\u00a0 \u201cYou won\u2019t leave your ship, if you have to go back?\u00a0 If they won\u2019t let you stay?\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He nodded slightly.\u00a0 \u201cI promise, Ari.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood,\u201d she murmured, relaxing a little.\u00a0 Some of the fear ebbed, drained away.\u00a0 Weariness replaced it and she exhaled, sighing a little.
\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Her father stroked her hair, and held her until she fell asleep again.<\/p>\n

~\u00a0Erin<\/p>\n

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